The book that changed my social life

The book that changed my social life
- So when I first got into self-improvement, I had really bad social anxiety. Talking to somebody I didn't know very well, especially if they were a girl, was really difficult for me. Even carrying on a basic human conversation was something that I didn't really know how to do very well. I'd always be stuck in my head thinking about what I was gonna say next, and worrying about whether they were impressed with me. And I also didn't have very many friends.
People didn't really invite me anywhere. So I started searching on Reddit for answers, you know, kind of lurking through self-improvement subreddits like I used to do quite a bit back in the day. And there was a book recommendation that kept on coming up in every single self-improvement subreddit that I looked at.
It seemed to be everyone's go-to book they would recommend for people struggling with social anxiety or struggling with being able to maintain a basic conversation. And that book was "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.
It came as kind of a shock to me because this book was published in 1936. In 2019, it's closer to the year 2100 than it is to when that book was published, yet in 2011, TIME magazine ranked it as the 19th most influential book in American history. So it doesn't mess around. So I was starting to get this vibe that it was the bible of human communication, and I gave it a read and it changed my life.
I'm not saying that this book was responsible for everything good that ever happened in my life or anything like that.
But what I do mean is that it changed my perspective. And I learned some things from this book that I have carried with me to this day, I've never forgotten and they've completely transformed the way I interact with people, having conversations with pretty much anybody is not an issue for me anymore, and people actually invite me to stuff. So I'm gonna go over some of the most impactful lessons from the book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and hopefully it helps you out as much as it helped me out.
Just to preface before I dive into these tips, or these lessons or whatever you want to call them, they are just tools.
All these things I'm about to say are just tools.
They're not absolute rules. They can be broken. But that being said, they are very powerful tools that I think work extremely well in most situations, especially this first one that I'm about to dive into. It's less of a tip or a tool, it's more like a paradigm shift that you can apply to pretty much your entire philosophy when it comes to dealing with people. And that is lesson one, it's all about the other person.
It may come as no surprise to you that everyone basically just thinks about themselves. What they've got going on in their lives, what they want to eat for dinner, what are they stressing about, what they want to do tomorrow, the vacation they want to take next summer. They're not really thinking about you at all.
You probably wouldn't be surprised to find out that you primarily think about yourself as well. And when you think about other people, it's always in the context of you.
It's like, "Does this person like me? Do they think I'm stupid because I said this thing?" It's always about you. Everyone else thinks that exact same way. So in order to become better with people, you have to realize this and see things from other people's perspective.
People's favorite hobby and people's favorite topic, and the one they're most comfortable talking about is things to do with themselves.
So if you want to become a good conversationalist, you have to become an investigator in people, try to get them talking about what's going on in their lives and you will never run out of conversation, which people sort of know, but they don't practice it because they feel like they're not getting anything out of the interaction, you know, by entirely focusing on what the other person has going on in their life, you know, you're almost stepping on yourself and not allowing your own personality to shine or something like that. But I found kind of the opposite is true. When you become genuinely interested in other people and what they have going on in their life, they're a lot more likely to return the favor. A lot of people have been in a situation or a conversation where somebody starts talking about their dreams and their ambitions and their skills and things they've done.
And then the other person just responds with their dreams and their ambitions and the things that they want to do. And they sort of just start, it's like a back and forth, they're trying to one up each other, and nobody really gets anything out of the conversation, no one's really listening.
They're just focusing on basically, you know what measuring. But when you actually listen to the person talk about their ambitions and their skills, and you genuinely ask them pressing questions about what their motivation was behind this, what they think they got out of it, et cetera, et cetera, and you actually practice being genuinely curious, not only would that person really appreciate the fact that you're actually asking genuine questions and that you're listening, they're way more likely to ask you genuine questions about yourself. And you can generate a pretty close friendship very quickly.
So next time you dive into a conversation with somebody new, genuinely try to be an investigator in what is going on in their life. What is making them tick and try to get to know them and actually listen. Lesson number two, make them feel valued.
Now, before I dive into this tip, I just want to say something. A lot of people think that this book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People", and these tips that I'm giving, and the tips that are available in the book, that they're somehow manipulative.
I don't see that as true. They're only manipulative if you use them to manipulate somebody. Giving somebody a genuine compliment, or even if you make it a habit to give someone a genuine compliment only does good. Putting somebody in a good mood by complimenting their appearance, a personality trait, or something that you genuinely find good about them often makes their day and they walk around the office or town or whatever they're doing with a kind of swagger in their step. All because you complimented on something that you noticed that you liked about them.
One of the greatest ways you can make people feel valued is to use their name and use it liberally. "Hey Joey, how's it going?" "Oh, hey Joey." "Hey guys, look, it's Joey." That makes me feel great when people use my name, especially if they don't know me very well, or if I just met them maybe one time and they remembered my name, that makes my day, like it makes me feel valued, it makes me feel like they actually remembered our conversation, even though they probably didn't.
By using somebody's name, it makes people feel like you have a connection, just instantly. The second way to make people feel valued is to give genuine compliments. Once you start practicing empathy and start practicing seeing things from another person's perspective, like the book is all about, then you'll get really good at noticing things that stand out from person to person. And once you get in the habit of vocalizing those things, you'll become somebody who people gravitate towards, and people just really like being around. Once you start to become an investigator in people, you can really start to psychoanalyze people and compliment them on their actual personality.
 
Complimenting someone's personality is often way more powerful than just complimenting something that's hanging off their body, a necklace, or that sounded like, that's a weird, telling somebody that they're "An extremely good listener and I really appreciate it" is a lot more powerful than saying, "I like your shirt." Before our final tip, just a quick word from today's video sponsor, Tiege Hanley. Okay, so I decided to reshoot this ad because I'm noticing even more benefits of using Tiege Hanley on my skin. So for those of you who don't know, Tiege Hanley is a skin care system for men designed to take the complication out of good skin. Every single month, they ship you four different components to your door.
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Okay guys, so take a look at this scene from "The Great Gatsby." I didn't even really like this movie very much, but this is one scene that I remember as clear as day, and I watched this like three years ago. This is the scene where Spider Man meets Leonardo DiCaprio. I forget the characters' names. Look at the way this interaction goes.
- You see... I'm Gatsby. - Oh, you're... (grand music) His smile was one of those rare smiles that you may come across four or five times in life. It seemed to understand you and believe in you, just as you would like to be understood and believed in.
- Sorry, old sport, I thought you knew.
- Please just, I don't know what to say. Please forgive me. - It's quite all right. - I've had so much to drink. - Mr.Gatsby, sir, Chicago (indistinct). - I'll be just a minute. I'm taking my new hydroplane out in the morning. Would you like to go with me? - What time?
- A time that suits you. - When he meets Gatsby for the first time, he feels like there is understanding behind his smile. As powerful as Gatsby is, he still took the time to put his hand on his shoulder, look him in the eye, and really pay attention and focus on what Peter Parker was saying. So the last tip is focus. Pretend that the person in front of you is the only person in the entire world.
And this channel is all about focus.
The skill of focus translates well to human interaction as well. If you learn to minimize your cell phone and social media use, if you learn to focus on slower pace things and really honing in on things you find boring, even boring conversations, then you'll be able to make people feel valued and appreciated and listened to. That's all that people want. Even when they go on long spiels about all their goals and ambitions, all they want to hear is "That is incredible.
" You know? "Good for you." So why not make somebody's day by actually even pretending that you care? Sometimes that's all people need.
They just need somebody who pretends like they care.
Bonus points if you actually learn to care. So guys, these are just some of the lessons I learned from "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. I'll put a link in the description for you to pick up your copy on Amazon. I'm not going to make it an affiliate link or anything like that.
It's probably pretty cheap if you have an e-reader like a Kindle or Kobo, you can probably find it online, like an online PDF if you just Google "HowtoWinFriendsandInfluencePeople.PDF".If you like this video, make sure to hit like, because when you like it, the algorithm knows that it's a high quality video and it helps people see the video. If you're lurking here and you haven't subscribed, hit that subscribe button and then hit that bell icon so you don't miss future uploads.
If you have any suggestions for videos you want me to cover in the future, let me know in the comments section below. That's all for today.
Thank you for watching and we'll catch you in the next video..
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How to Discover Business Opportunities No One is Seeing

How to Discover Business Opportunities No One is Seeing
How to discover business opportunities When Walt Disney started Disneyland in 1955, the idea came from taking his kids to a park to have fun. According to Disney, "It started with me taking my two kids around to zoos and parks. While they were on the merry-go-round riding 40 times or something, I'd be sitting there trying to figure out what you could do that would be more imaginative.
I got the idea for a three-dimensional thing that people could come and visit.
I felt that there should be something built where the parents and the children could have fun together."
Earl Nightingale said that "Everything Begins With An Idea." Also, according to Victor Hugo, "There Is One Thing Stronger Than All The Armies In The World, And That Is An Idea Whose Time Has Come." You see, the first step to discovering any business opportunity is coming up with an idea that will be the basis or foundation for your business to grow.
In the case of Disney, it started with the idea of coming up with an idea that will be beneficial to both kids and parents. The question, however, is, how can one come up with a relevant business idea and how to develop the idea to create the perfect business for one's self and one's brand?
In this video, I’ll share with you how to discover business opportunities.
This, I believe will help you become a successful person. If you’re new here, consider subscribing so that you won’t miss other interesting videos like this.
You see, Andy Boynton, co-author of The Idea Hunter said, "The world around you is filled with ideas that can be useful." So, the first step isn't to start racking your brain to come up with the most genius idea whatsoever but to take time to search around you and recognize some of the ideas that lie around, waiting to be picked up by someone who can develop the idea.
You're probably wondering why it is important to start by recognizing or creating ideas necessary to meet a need, right? Harvey S.
Firestone said, “If you have ideas, you have the main asset you need, and there isn’t any limit to what you can do with your business. Ideas are any man’s greatest asset.” You know what?
Let's talk about what a business opportunity is and also, what makes a good business opportunity. Thereafter, we can further discuss how to discover one.
What is a business opportunity? A business opportunity is an attractive proposition that provides the possibility of a return for the person taking the risk, which in this case is you. This opportunity usually requires the provision of a product or a service that is valuable to the buyer or the end-user.
What makes a good business opportunity?
1. It must meet a need A good idea isn't necessarily a good business opportunity if it doesn't meet a particular need. For instance, you may invent a brilliant technical product that might not make much sense to a school teacher because it isn't in any way meeting any needs of hers.
Remember what we said earlier about business opportunities?
It must be valuable to the buyer or the end-user. In the case where the need is already being met, you can come up with ways to make it even better. For instance, the idea of a park wasn't new but Disney simply came up with a way to make it better, by involving parents in the fun.
2. The opportunity should and must work in the location that you are establishing it Again, you need to consider the location of the business.
For instance, what is considered to work in one location might not work in another. For instance, making and selling fur coats in temperate regions might not be a good idea. However, in tropical regions, you can be sure to make sales as long as other business conditions are considered and met. If the opportunity meets a need that's great, but it isn't going to mean much if that need isn't specific to your location. There has to be a demand for the business to thrive.

 
3. The right pricing for the market When considering the need that your idea is solving or required to solve, you should also consider the people that the product or service is intended for. Hence, your pricing should be based on the market. For instance, if your product is targeted towards helping the need for a low-income earner, then the product/service shouldn't be overpriced, but easily affordable for them.
Ask yourself whether or not you can provide the product or service at a price the market can handle.
Will your price attract customers while still earning you a profit? Now, that we know what a good business opportunity should look like, how can we discover one?
1. Recognize and listen to your potential target audience Remember what we said about every business starting with a good idea? Let's consider Disney's idea once again.
After the thought of making something that can be favorable to both parties (parents and kids), do you think he just replicated the things he had seen in other parks into his or he had to come up with interesting things that can captivate the parents? Of course, he had to.
In this situation, the parents were his target audience, not the kids. So coming up with fun things for the parents means he had to listen to his target audience by doing several types of research before eventually building Disneyland. Once he built Disneyland, he will spend days and nights in there, observing guests, ride operators, food servers, merchandise, and custodial staff to find out what some of the challenges were, what people were complaining about and they could make these things better.
For instance, he was able to discover things like low ride capacity, congested walkways, traffic jams, and slow food service. If your business is going to thrive, then you need to learn to listen to your audience, after all, your goal is to serve them, not yourself.
2. Take a clue from your competitors You see, there are so many companies out there that are probably doing what you are doing or what you want to do, which is why you need to identify what they are not doing but is equally valuable to your target audience.
You can do a competitive analysis (don’t let it lead to competitive paralysis though) to see what other startups are doing, and more importantly, not doing.
Doing this will help you recognize business opportunities that can help expand your market reach and develop your products and services.
3. Understand the industry you are going into Nothing speaks brand credibility and professionalism than showing your expertise in your industry.
When you understand your industry, you know what is important and what is not.
Mostly, you'll learn how to provide quality products or services that will match the industry standard.
Remember, in the end, you are not the only person providing that particular product, there are a good number of people as well. Hence, the more recognized you are in your industry, the better your opportunity of expanding your market and sales, in return. Summary If you want to discover business opportunities,
1. Make sure your ideas meet people's need
2. Identify and listen to your potential clients and customers so that you can continue to serve them better, meeting their challenges in creative and impressive ways.
3. Do a competitive analysis and find out what your competitors aren't doing so that you can provide a much better solution for your customers. Good luck with your new or existing business. Thank you so much for watching our videos. Do you love to start your day with high energy?
Then, we invite you to join our new channel which was designed to give you daily inspirational videos that will help you to become a high achiever. We call it, “Inspiration Tube”. Look at the description box to join the Inspiration Tube We Love You.
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5 Quick Link Building Wins In 5 Minutes Or Less

5 Quick Link Building Wins In 5 Minutes Or Less
- What's up guys. So in today's video, I'm gonna show you five link building hacks that you can quickly do in five minutes or less. So if you wanna get more backlinks to your site, if you wanna grow your traffic, if you wanna boost your rankings with SEO, then make sure you watch this video because if you want more backlinks then these quick hacks are seriously gonna help you. And with that, let's jump in.
So the first link building hack is to make sure that you sign up for HARO, this is helperareporter.com, and basically this is where you can find easy link building PR opportunities, that you can quickly apply for in less than five minutes. In fact, if you check out my other video, I've shown you exactly how to get a backlink straight to your sales page using HARO, that only takes a few minutes to do.
So, when it comes to HARO, basically once you've signed up, you're gonna receive an email breakdown of tons of different link building opportunities. And all you have to do is reply to each of those opportunities that you find relevant. And once you do that, you know, within a month or within two months, you're going to start seeing links coming in.
Now, obviously, with so many opportunities, you're not going to land a backlink from every single one, but if you're consistent with this, and you start sending five or 10 HARO replies every single day, then you will see results. So this is something I definitely recommend if you want more backlinks. Now, the beauty of HARO, is that all of the link building opportunities you receive on email, once you've signed up, are very exclusive, okay. So, these are links you can't get from outreach. These are links that you won't find anywhere else, because, you know, they're very high domain, very high authority websites that are offering you opportunities to get links on their site.
So HARO is such a gold mine for link building, and that's why I recommend signing up. And next up is a really quick hack that I don't see many people doing, and that's review link building, okay? So, essentially if you have a product or a service that you really like using right now, what you should do is reach out to that company and say, "Hey, you know, I love what you're doing here. "I love your product, I use your service. "You know, it's helped me or it's helped my business.
"These are the reasons why." And then offer either a case study or review in exchange for a link to your site. And when you do that, you're going to see loads of these companies reply back to you and give you a backlink simply because the most powerful sales tool for a company is reviews. So if you can offer them a review, there'll be happy to add a link back to your site.
And this is something I actually did for Lemlist.com recently, I've got a backlink from their site when I reached out to them, offering a review of their service. So reviews are a very powerful link building tool. And you know, it only takes like two minutes to reach out to a company, telling them how much you love their service and then offering either a case study or a review.
Next up, make sure that you scrape your competitors backlink profile using the tool like Ahrefs.com.
Because basically this will show you the difference between how many links they've got versus how many links you've got. And if you can identify the gap, then you can find link building opportunities that you need to reach out to.
Okay, so you're gonna find a bunch of websites your competitor has already got links from, that you can reach out to and say, "Hey, I notice you're linked to him, "maybe you wanna link to me too, here's the reasons why." And from there you can identify loads of link building opportunities. And the beauty of this is that if they've linked to your competitor, chances are they're gonna link to you too, especially if you have either better content than them or something of value that you can offer as a resource for them to link back to.
And when you create a process of scraping your competitors backlink profile, and then reaching out to them, you know, the number of links you get are just going to grow exponentially.
And you can very quickly do this in about two minutes or less. So you can quickly go to Ahrefs, you can check out a website's backlink profile, you can download it in about two minutes and it really doesn't take much time to do.
Now when it comes to off page SEO, of course links are important, but at the same time, you need to make sure that you're getting internal links on your website too, because when you're getting backlinks from other sites to your site, you're getting authority and you're funneling link juice to your site.
 
But you need to funnel that link juice to the most important pages on your website, because that will help you rank your most important pages higher, so for example, if you have sales pages, money pages, review pages, then you need to funnel the link juice from your external backlinks to the most important pages on your site.
And when you do this, you're gonna see much higher rankings but what's the quickest way to do this? Well, I would recommend using a tool like Link Whisper. Link Whisper essentially helps you identify which pages don't have any internal links, and the best ways to link internally to those pages. And when you do that, your website's architecture is gonna improve, you're gonna have more internal backlinks on your site and it's gonna be much easier for Google to crawl and recognize the most important pages on your site. And all of this helps you improve your SEO.
Now, when you use Link Whisper, this takes about two minutes to do okay, it's a quick hack, it's very easy to use and it's gonna save you so much time in the long run.
So I highly recommend installing Link Whisper, it's not free, but at the same time, it's 100% worth it. And it'll save you a lot of time in the long run. Now, my final link building hack is to make sure that you're optimizing the topics you choose for link building outreach. Okay, so when you're promoting your content, and when you're trying to get backlinks to your site, you need to pick topics are actually gonna attract links because if you don't do that, then chances are no one's gonna link to you, or you know, other websites just aren't gonna find your content relevant enough to link to.
So how do you do this? Well, you can go to Ahrefs, content explorer over here, and then you can find relevant topics that have a lot of links in your site. So for example, let's say you're in the dog's niche. Okay, what you can do is find relevant link building topics related to dogs, that you could potentially get links through to. So if we sort by referring domains here, what we're gonna have is a list of the most popular link-building topics in your niche.
So for example, right, you can see this particular page has 13,200 referring domains. So they have a ton of links to this page and that, if you're in the dogs niche, then this is a really good potential topic for you to start using to get links.
So for example, if your website is in the dog's niche, then this is a really good topic to write about if you want more back links to your site. And what you can do is create a piece of content that's better than this or more comprehensive or more up to date and then reach out to all of these domains that have linked to your competitor and say, Hey you've linked to this guy, maybe you want to link to me too. You can just run through this list, you know as you can see, it only takes about two minutes to do, and find a bunch of link-building topics that you can start writing about too.
And when you do that, you're gonna have loads of content the can quickly use for Outreach to get more backlinks to your site, so you can promote the content, you can reach out to other websites. You can ask them to link to your content. And when you find the right topics, like all of these, then you will generate a lot more links to your site.
Now, if you want more tips on link building outreach, then make sure you check out my playlist on YouTube because that will help you a lot. So thanks for watching guys.
I really appreciate you watching all the way to the end. If you have any questions, let me know in the comments section below. And by the way, if you're interested in growing your site with link building, then please check out my site. Juliangoldie.com.
I actually run a link building agency that's helped tons of websites, just like yours, to grow your site with link building. So if you wan to get more back links your site, if you wanna improve your SEO, if you wanna get more results with SEO, then please feel free to get in touch and we can have a conversation about that, thanks for watching.
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